Always in my heart ...

Open Adoptoin - From the Birth Mother's Perspective

2010-12-13T15:00:00.000-05:00

A touching essay on open adoption from the perspective of the birth mother.

How to Tell People They Sound Racist

2010-12-13T14:56:00.000-05:00

Cat Adopts Baby Possums

2010-12-01T23:14:00.002-05:00

World's Longest Locs!

2010-11-30T09:54:00.002-05:00

Very Cool Hair!

2010-11-30T09:42:00.002-05:00

Check out the full article here.

Very Cute ETH-themed Bracelets

2010-11-28T10:23:00.000-05:00

Sara is selling ETH-adoption themed bracelets on her blog - to raise funds for her own ETH adoption. I just ordered a couple as stocking stuffers for the girls - may have to go back and order more!

Beyonce in ETH

2010-11-14T16:17:00.000-05:00

I Love my Hair!

2010-10-19T17:37:00.002-05:00

Korean Adoptee Seeks Birth Mother

2010-10-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

A little hard to watch - I feel his anguish ... and am saddened that someday my kids will have the same issues to struggle through. Adoption is about creating families, but also about losing them ...

My Girls - May 2010

2010-05-25T11:59:00.002-05:00

2010-05-04T17:30:00.001-05:00

Not flesh of my flesh
nor bone of my bone
But still miracuously my own
Never forget for a single minute
you didn't grow under my heart
you grew in it.

~ Author Unknown

Ebba's Second Birthday

2010-02-28T19:03:00.002-05:00

Xmas Morning 2009

2010-02-23T21:53:00.007-05:00

Mei Le carefully (with LOTS of tape!) wrapped up her jewelry box to give to Ebba!

Sparkly shoes!

Great hats from Auntie Rosann & Uncle Sheldon!

Catching Up - Pre-Xmas 2009

2010-02-23T21:39:00.005-05:00

Can't believe how the time has FLOWN by! I have been most delinquent at keeping up on the blog. Those of you that are on Facebook may have seen some more recent pictures - but will try to update here. Let's start with some pre-Xmas pics!

Yule party @ my mom's:

Mei Le's school pageant:

Pageant @ Ian's church - she was a camel! (Can't you tell?? And yes - that's a hand towel, shaped with elastic bands into a camel head. I was fairly proud of it!)

Winner - 2009 Ukraine's Got Talent - Incredible

2010-02-21T23:31:00.000-05:00

This video shows the winner of 2009’s " Ukraine ’s Got Talent," Kseniya Simonova, 24, drawing a series of pictures on an illuminated sand table showing how ordinary people were affected by the German invasion during World War II. Her talent, which admittedly is a strange one, is mesmeric to watch.

The images, projected onto a large screen, moved many in the audience to tears and she won the top prize of about $75,000.

She begins by creating a scene showing a couple sitting holding hands on a bench
under a starry sky, but then warplanes appear and the happy scene is obliterated.

It is replaced by a woman’s face crying, but then a baby arrives and the woman smiles again. Once again war returns and Miss Simonova throws the sand into chaos from which a young woman’s face appears.

She quickly becomes an old widow, her face wrinkled and sad, before the image turns into a monument to an Unknown Soldier.

This outdoor scene becomes framed by a window as if the viewer is looking out on the monument from within a house.

In the final scene, a mother and child appear inside and a man standing outside, with his hands pressed against the glass, saying good-bye.

The Great Patriotic War, as it is called in Ukraine , resulted in one in four of the population being killed with eight to 11 million deaths out of a population of 42 million.

Kseniya Simonova says: The art, especially when the war is used as the subject matter, even brings some audience members to tears. And there’s surely no bigger compliment."

Notebook Babies Animations - Diversity

2010-01-30T01:05:00.001-05:00

The Lady and the Chocolate

2010-01-30T00:57:00.001-05:00

Adoption PSA

2009-11-20T13:06:00.001-05:00

Tyra Banks Segment on "Good Hair"

2009-11-14T18:54:00.001-05:00

My Sister's New Art Blog

2009-10-11T23:01:00.003-05:00

My sister is a talented visual artist, working in a variety of media.

Check out: www.ericataylorart.com.

Children's Heaven

2009-10-11T19:28:00.003-05:00

Children’s Heaven is a community based non profit organization which started its operation in July 2004 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.
Our program is dedicated to improving the lives of orphaned girls who had lost one or both parents to the AIDS epidemic. We achieve these goals primarily through sponsorship, which connect these girls with their individual sponsors.
Our program currently benefits more than 75 girls, while we have about 150 on our waiting list waiting for sponsors.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to embrace and empower the precious orphaned girls entrusted to our care in an effort to minimize their socio-economic vulnerability. We provide essential services to our children along with compassionate care, love, hope, security and religious guidance. We also equip them with the necessary skills, knowledge, opportunity and self assertiveness that will enable them to lead healthy and productive adult lives.

HIV and AIDS
Young people are becoming sexually active and at risk of contracting HIV at relatively early ages. The incidence of new HIV infection among young people indicates that HIV/AIDS continues to grow; infecting this generation and leaving them without hope and future.

Ethiopia is one of the African countries that is highly affected by the HIV pandemic. Located in Eastern Africa, Ethiopia is among those countries that are loosing their productive population at an alarming rate. In addition, the growing number of child-headed households affects the rights of children and their access to education, basic needs, development and protection as well as increases the vulnerability of children especially girls to sexual exploitation, adult abuse and neglect.

Children some of who are living with HIV/AIDS, or have lost one or both parents to this debilitating disease often experience discrimination and exclusion from the community as a result of the stigma. Consequently, psychological wounds are manifested in depression, isolation, aggression, eating and sleep disorders.

Children’s Heaven want to give them a safe environment where they can get love, security guidance and provision of their basic needs and help them develop as human beings that God intended them to be.
Our mission is to serve the needs of helpless children by providing essential services, compassionate care, love, security, religious guidance and to equip them with the skills, knowledge, opportunity and self assertiveness to lead healthy, productive adult lives.

Children’s Heaven is committed to openness and transparency in our business dealings and has adopted a policy of preparing its financial statements in accordance with generally accepted accounting principles.

Our donors and volunteers are an important part of Children’s Heaven family. They should feel confident of handling of our resources with prudence and highest level of integrity.

Children's Heaven - Addis Ababa

2009-10-11T15:05:00.001-05:00

Children's Heaven is a community based non profit organization which started its operation in July 2004 in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Our program is dedicated to improving the lives of orphaned girls who had lost one or both parents to the AIDS epidemic. We achieve these goals primarily through sponsorship, which connect these girls with their individual sponsors.

Our program currently benefits more than 75 girls, while we have about 150 on our waiting list waiting for sponsors.

Mission Statement

Our mission is to embrace and empower the precious orphaned girls entrusted to our care in an effort to minimize their socio-economic vulnerability. We provide essential services to our children along with compassionate care, love, hope, security and religious guidance. We also equip them with the necessary skills, knowledge, opportunity and self assertiveness that will enable them to lead healthy and productive adult lives.

HIV and AIDS

Young people are becoming sexually active and at risk of contracting HIV at relatively early ages. The incidence of new HIV infection among young people indicates that HIV/AIDS continues to grow; infecting this generation and leaving them without hope and future.

Ethiopia is one of the African countries that is highly affected by the HIV pandemic. Located in Eastern Africa, Ethiopia is among those countries that are loosing their productive population at an alarming rate. In addition, the growing number of child-headed households affects the rights of children and their access to education, basic needs, development and protection as well as increases the vulnerability of children especially girls to sexual exploitation, adult abuse and neglect.

Children some of who are living with HIV/AIDS, or have lost one or both parents to this debilitating disease often experience discrimination and exclusion from the community as a result of the stigma. Consequently, psychological wounds are manifested in depression, isolation, aggression, eating and sleep disorders.

Children's Heaven want to give them a safe environment where they can get love, security guidance and provision of their basic needs and help them develop as human beings that God intended them to be.

Our mission is to serve the needs of helpless children by providing essential services, compassionate care, love, security, religious guidance and to equip them with the skills, knowledge, opportunity and self assertiveness to lead healthy, productive adult lives.

Children's Heaven is committed to openness and transparency in our business dealings and has adopted a policy of preparing its financial statements in accordance with generally accepted accounting principles.

Our donors and volunteers are an important part of Children's Heaven family. They should feel confident of handling of our resources with prudence and highest level of integrity.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Allison Taylor
Green Valley ON

finneycreek@sympatico.ca

2009-10-11T14:58:00.002-05:00

Excerpt from the film "Adopted"

2009-10-07T22:26:00.000-05:00

The Whole Famn Damily

2009-10-05T21:23:00.003-05:00

Margaret, Mac, Ebba, Vera, Mei Le (front)

Allison, Margaret, Mac, Ebba, Ian, Vera, Robin (Vera's husband), Mei Le & Gus (front).

All FOUR Sisters!

2009-10-05T21:16:00.001-05:00

Ian's twin daughters, Margaret (L) and Vera (R) were home for a few weeks this August - it was their first meeting with Ebba. Here are all four girls!

At the Fair (August 2009)

2009-10-05T20:53:00.003-05:00

Mei Le showing her calf in the pre-4-H class; brother-in-law Robin stands guard.

Mei Le's entry in the children's art class: What agriculture means to me. The picture is of her on her pony, Peanut.

The mandatory pony ride - even tho we have one at home!

Watching the puppet show:

Playing in the corn - irresistible!

More calf showing - here, Mei Le helps her big sister, Vera, show in the Open Show.

Mei Le with her Pug, Gus, in the pet show. His trick was to "get the cookie." He succeeded. They placed third.

Summer Pics - "White is Nice"

2009-10-05T17:56:00.006-05:00

In August, our local fair has a photo competition, and each year I throw my hat in the ring with a few of my faves. Each year, one class is simply a colour - allowing photographers to enter whatever photo is inspired by or features that colour. This year's colour class was: "White is Nice". So, I grabbed a few metres of tulle left over from my step-daughter's wedding last year and took the girls out for a photo shoot in the back yard. This is a selection of my faves ... and I loved the irony of my two non-Caucasian daughters being featured in this class. Sadly, we only got third place.

This is the one I selected to enter:

Family

2009-09-25T18:58:00.001-05:00

Lucky spin built 'Little Ethiopia'

2009-09-11T09:27:00.004-05:00

TheStar.com GTA
Lucky spin built 'Little Ethiopia'
JIM RANKIN/TORONTO STAR

A stretch of Danforth Ave., between Greenwood and Coxwell Aves., is now home to many Ethiopian businesses.

Slot machine win helped to revamp restaurant and set Danforth stretch on path to distinction

Patrons were beginning to complain.

"This place is like an oven," they would say, and co-owner Daniel Bekele could only agree.

Six months after opening in early 2007, he couldn't afford $2,000 for an air conditioner at his Ethiopian restaurant, Wazema, on Danforth Ave.

The bar looked boxy, the decor lacked style and the washrooms needed upgrading, he says. But the food was good and he had a premonition that he was, as he says, "going to get something from somewhere."

His feeling grew and that Father's Day he rounded up three friends to drive to Casino Rama. Within minutes – on his second spin at a $50 slot machine – he won $190,000.

"A siren went off and my problems were solved," he says.

Bekele gave each friend $10,000 and put the balance toward Wazema, revamping it as one of the city's top Ethiopian restaurants – with oil paintings on the wall and an open, modern design.

The makeover not only drew new customers but also attracted other Ethiopian businesses, to the point where Wazema now stands as a centrepiece of a Danforth strip that people are beginning to call "Little Ethiopia."

"Greektown, Little Italy – a name like that distinguishes an area," Bekele says. "`Little Ethiopia' would be great."

For years, Danforth Ave. on either side of intersecting Greenwood Ave. lay all but neglected. Faded signs still mark such dusty storefronts as the St. Jacques Religious Book Store, Cosmic Janitorial Services and the former Greenwood Coin Laundromat.

Cottage nightclub with Ethiopian music opened a few years ago, then closed. Another early pioneer, Rendez-Vous restaurant, continues to thrive. Meskerem restaurant became the Blue Nile, which is expanding to include music on weekends.

Since Wazema's renovations, such eateries as Ibex, Fasiledes and Dukem have popped up, followed by a mix of other businesses – a hairdresser, a grocery, a coffee shop, a money transfer office. Evangadi nightclub is set to open soon.

"I like the area," says T.G., manager of Hair Expressions at the corner of Monarch Park Ave.

"I'm not into bars and alcohol," says Emmanuel Debass, who just before the inauguration of a black U.S. president opened Obama Café, specializing in Ethiopian coffee. "Coffee and chit-chat is healthier," he says.

One frequenter of the area is Samuel Getachew, 33, a native of Addis Ababa who arrived in Toronto last fall from Ottawa.

As the founder of a monthly networking group called Ethiopian Fridays, held the second Friday of the month, Getachew encourages Torontonians of Ethiopian background to take ownership of Toronto, figuratively and literally.

Formally designating a "Little Ethiopia" would further the cause, he says. "We've always admired Greektown, two kilometres from here," he says over lunch at Wanza, a couple of doors from Wazema.

"Ethiopians have never had an area and we want them to be mindful of it, to clean it, to make it more beautiful and, bringing their Ethiopian background, become part of the Canadian system."

At one time, the cluster of Ethiopian and Eritrean businesses at Ossington Ave. and Bloor St. W. seemed the more likely candidate as "Little Ethiopia."

But the momentum has shifted. As though to confirm the trend, the Bloor-Ossington landmark Lalibela Restaurant opened a sister establishment two weeks ago on the Danforth.

EATING ETHIOPIAN

Ethiopians typically eat communally with their hands, using a spongy bread to pick mouth-size portions from a common platter. The cuisine is as unique as the dining experience, with a few special terms:

Teff: A grain, high in iron, indigenous to Ethiopia.

Injera: A thick, spongy, sourdough crepe made from teff, riddled with holes on one side. A food platter (above) comes draped with an underlying layer of injera, to be torn off and used instead of a fork or spoon.

Specialties: Tibs – bits of beef stir-fried with butter and onion. Kitfo – chopped lean beef seasoned with butter, herbs and chili, served raw or quickly pan-browned.

Vegetables: Strips of mild cabbage, braised carrots and potatoes, green beans cooked with tomatoes. Ethiopia is a mainly Christian country and the Coptic Orthodox Church mandates many meatless days.

Drinks: Tella (beer), tej (mead).

Etiquette: Wash your hands before eating. Tear a portion of injera from the edge of the platter, or from extra injera supplied on a side plate. Roll or bunch the food into the injera, then pop it into your mouth without lips touching the fingers. Select from the space in front of you rather than reaching here and there around the platter.

– John Goddard

Playlist

2009-08-30T09:21:00.002-05:00

Just added a playlist to the blog (you can see it if you scroll DOWN to the bottom of the blog) ... it is small for now, but features some of my favourite thought-provoking songs: Angelique Kidjo, K'Naan, Bob Marley ...

Would love suggestions for more!

Waving Flag - K'Naan

2009-08-30T08:51:00.001-05:00

A nice acoustic version of K'Naan's great song "Waving Flag" - accompanied by troubling photos of child soldiers, children in need ... Food for Thought, for sure.

Video from Families of Imagine Adoption

2009-08-21T13:19:00.003-05:00

The group of families affected by the bankruptcy of Imagine Adoption/Kids-Link International has produced this video to highlight their situation and to encourage the ON govt to ensure that their adoptions are completed. Nice job, folks!

I haven't blogged about this bankruptcy yet, tho it has certainly rocked the Canadian adoption community, and has not been far from my mind ever since it happened in mid-July.

Good Hair - The Movie

2009-08-17T08:51:00.002-05:00

One day, comedian Chris Rock's daughter came home and asked him, "How come I don't have good hair?".

The result of his attempt to find the answer to that question is: Good Hair - The Movie.

The Three Bears - the true story!

2009-07-30T18:10:00.000-05:00

A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning....

Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks.

Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he Roars.

Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen and yells, 'For God's sake, how many times do I have to go through this with you idiots?

It was Mummy Bear who got up first.
It was Mummy Bear who woke everyone in the house.
It was Mummy Bear who made the coffee.
It was Mummy Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night and put everything away.
It was Mummy Bear who swept the floor in the kitchen.
It was Mummy Bear who went out in the cold early morning air to fetch the newspaper and croissants.
It was Mummy Bear who set the damn table.
It was Mummy Bear who walked the bloody dog, cleaned the cat's litter tray, gave them their food, and refilled their water.

And now that you've decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs and grace Mummy Bear with your grumpy presence, listen carefully, because I'm only going to say this once....

'I HAVEN'T MADE THE F ....................... PORRIDGE YET!!!

I love Pearls Before Swine ...

2009-07-29T15:56:00.000-05:00

More Space Gym Fun ...

2009-07-29T10:09:00.004-05:00

These are older pics - from a bday party of one of Mei Le's friends in June.

Fun at the Space Gym

2009-07-29T10:06:00.001-05:00

Canada Day Water Fun

2009-07-29T10:02:00.001-05:00

Mother & Child Reunion - Ziggy Marley

2009-07-29T10:00:00.001-05:00

Parenting - Ever Had Days Like This???

2009-07-28T21:50:00.002-05:00

Finally - an AA Disney Princess!!

2009-07-01T08:15:00.000-05:00

Some Short Video Clips - Dancing Queens

2009-06-17T11:09:00.003-05:00

Above: Do I sense a break-dancer in our midst?

Yes - You CAN do the Highland Fling to ABBA (in case you were wondering!).

Photo Catch-up

2009-06-17T10:54:00.003-05:00

The sprinkler (and hole-y hose) have been the source of much amusement so far this summer:

Yet another manifestation of the Footwear Obsession:

Mei Le and Gus-Gus:

A "Wedding Outfit", conceived by Mei Le, and presented by Ebba:

Six Months Home - Can you believe it?

2009-06-17T10:30:00.003-05:00

I almost can't ... tho it does seem a lifetime ago that I crawled off that plane from ETH on Xmas Eve, more exhausted that I think I have *ever* been!

But, time marches along, and despite some really rough days early on (and still occasionally), I'd say we are making pretty good progress at stabilizing as a Family of Four. We have a basic routine, Ebba sleeps most nights through (makes a big diff to my sanity!), and the girls are getting along better and better. Mei Le is really coming into her own as a Big Sister, and now understands how to help keep Ebba distracted when fussy, helps her with dress-up (even if Ebba doesn't want to!), and seems less competitive for attention (understanding that Ebba sometimes needs more attention).

Coinciding (almost) with this auspicious semi-anniversary, was Ebba's 18-mo old milestone. We have to keep reminding ourselves that she's only that old (still a baby, really), because she is just so CAPABLE for her age. She is amazingly physically co-ordinated for her age (we think):

To date, she can:

Run, skip, dance, twirl;
Feed herself (sometimes needs a little help loading her spoon/fork);
Drink from a regular cup;
"Wash" herself in the tub;

She LOVES Abba Music (a spin-off from Mei Le's former obsession with Mamma Mia), and will point at the CD player and ask for music when she wants to dance. She's even got some cool disco moves!

On the health front, we had our second visit to the children's hosp for the results of all those blood tests they took in April. All normal, with the exception of slightly low iron levels, so we are adding some diff multi-vitamins with iron to top her up. I also think we have amanged to eradicate the dreaded Giardia parasite - last two follow-up tests have been clear - one more to go before we can officially declare victory. Hearing test next week (standard for intntl adopted kids). Then we go back in early Dec for an assessment of development, attachment, etc.

On the behavioural front, she is settling down ... biting is dramatically reduced (with the occasional slip - esp on Mei Le, who is too soft to protest sufficiently to scare Ebba off!), hitting is reducing - and she seems to be understanding that it's not Approved Behaviour, as she will sort-of hit, then look to me for feedback. We are training "No-Hit, Kiss" as I did "No Bite, Kiss" to help her learn appropriate behaviour. I admit to often being frustrated/freaked out by this "violent" beh and the fact that she seems not to learn from my (often very loud) corrections ... but have to remind myself that she *is* only 18 mo old, and may not be ready or able to control her beh well enough to stop completely. Patience, Mom!

Food-wise, she eats most things - tho not always predictably. She does seem to prefer tomato-based things, and spicy things. Yesterday she discovered hummus & pita, and mowed through a bunch of that, repeatedly asking "More?"

Vocabulary update:

"Helly" for Helen, our babysitter
"Dus-dus" for Gus, our Pug (who I usually call "Gus-Gus")
"Water", "Bath"
"joo" for juice
"Wok" for walk

So, that's where we are. Will post some new pics in a separate post.

To realize ...

2009-06-05T08:59:00.001-05:00

To realize the value of four years:
Ask a graduate.

To realize the value of one year:
Ask a student who has failed a final exam.

To realize the value of nine months:
Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.

To realize the value of one month:
Ask a motherwho has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week:
Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one minute:
Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.

To realize the value of one-second:
Ask a person who has survived an accident.

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have.
You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.

~ Anon

The Tired Dog

2009-06-01T18:14:00.002-05:00

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard.
I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed meinto my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep. An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour.
This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious, I pinned a note to his collar: 'I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.'

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar:

'He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 - he's trying to catch up on his sleep. CanI come with him tomorrow?'

~ Anon.

Words for Women to Live By

2009-05-29T09:17:00.001-05:00

1. Aspire to be Barbie - the bitch has everything.
2. If the shoe fits - buy them in every color.
3. Take life with a pinch of salt... A wedge of lime, and a shot of tequila.
4. In need of a support group? - Cocktail hour with the girls!
5. Go on the 30 day diet. (I'm on it and so far I've lost 15 days).
6. When life gets you down - just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
7. Let your greatest fear be that there is no PMS and this is just your personality.
8. I know I'm in my own little world, but it's ok. They know me here.
9. Lead me not into temptation, I can find it myself.
10. Don't get your knickers in a knot; it solves nothing and makes you walk funny.
11. When life gives you lemons in 2009 - turn it into lemonade then mix it with vodka.
12. Remember where ever there is a good looking, sweet, single or married man there is some woman tired of his bullshit!
13. Keep your chin up, only the first 40 years of parenthood are the hardest.
14. If it has Tires or Testicles it's gonna give you trouble.
15. By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she's wrong.

~ Anon.

Cool Pro-Adoption Ad

2009-05-14T17:32:00.003-05:00

Although I am not synpathetic to what I assume is the anti-choice motivation of this group, the ad is a powerful tool to get people to think about adoption ...

Before I was a Mom ...

2009-05-11T12:22:00.001-05:00

Before I was a Mom ,
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom ,
I had never been Puked on; Pooped on; Chewed on; Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom ,
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests,
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom ,
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put her down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom ,
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom,
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom .
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

~ Anon.

Random Pics

2009-04-28T13:40:00.002-05:00

Touching The Beam in our kitchen is a popular activity - for both girls - and a Daddy job.

Badger is a very tolerant fellow - he put up with Mei Le's early maulings, and is now humouring Ebba's prodding.

Health Update

2009-04-28T13:35:00.002-05:00

Ebba has been a robust and outwardly healthy baby ever since we got home, despite the usual snuffles and coughs of the winter season.

We have, however, had a few health issues arise ...

She had/has Giardia (a GI parasite) - this was detected by a faecal exam soon after getting home. We treated it, then re-tested clean. However, follow-up testing reveals that the little bug-a-boos still lurk - so we are onto treatment regimen #2 - longer this time. Giardia can be stubborn to get rid of. She has been pretty much asymptomatic (can see diarrhea, bloating, cramps), and I suspect she has had this parasite for most of her little life.
Her TB (Mantoux) test came back positive - likely a result of infant vaccination, but possible an indicator of latent TB. So, we are now about 1 mo into a 9-mo trt regimen for that.

She is getting resigned to the constant syringing of yucky-tasting liquids into her mouth - but it's no fun.

Ebba Sings!

2009-04-28T12:57:00.002-05:00

Sorry it's sideways ...

Meet the Imagination Movers

2009-04-23T22:31:00.002-05:00

More Sister Pics

2009-04-13T10:53:00.002-05:00

Pearls of Wisdom

2009-04-13T10:49:00.000-05:00

More adoptions coming from 'cradle of humanity"

2009-04-13T10:42:00.000-05:00

By Jackie Burrell
Contra Costa Times
Posted: 04/10/2009 03:38:38 PM PDT
Updated: 04/10/2009 05:37:45 PM PDT

Flashbulbs pop every time Angelina Jolie and Madonna appear with children they've adopted from nations around the world. But paparazzi aside, African adoptions are hardly a celebrity thing. In fact, the Jolie-Pitts are just one of the 4,442 American families who have adopted children from Ethiopia in the past five years. And the numbers are soaring.

Artists Erik and Charlotte Blome of Martinez adopted their 6-year-old son Noah from Ethiopia five years ago.Back then, "The yearly American numbers were still in the hundreds and Angelina Jolie was still talking about Billy Bob," Erik Blome said.

In 2004, just 289 Ethiopian babies were issued U.S. State Department visas. The numbers have quintupled since then, accounting for 1,725 of the 17,438 international adoptions last year. But with international adoptions on hold in Guatemala — from which 4,123 American families adopted children in 2008 — and in serious slowdown in other nations, including China, from which Americans adopted another 3,909 babies past year, and Russia (1,861), Ethiopia has become an increasingly popular option. "It's become a good place for families that want to adopt knowing that the child they're adopting is truly in need of a home, truly does not have family support," said Andrea Stawitcke, executive director of Bay Area Adoption Services in Mountain View, which has been operating for 25 years. "It's also a country that has been really careful about putting the process in place."

Fraud concerns put a halt to adoptions from Guatemala and Vietnam in the last several months. The Kazakhstan Embassy has ceased processing adoption dossiers — the inches-thick binder of required home study and family background documents. Russia is only now resuming adoptions after a complete revamping of its adoption system, and restrictions abound. China poses challenges as well. Not only does the process often take three or more years, but the parents must be married, preference is given to families of Chinese descent, and the list of requirements includes age, finances and body mass index. Ethiopia, by contrast, allows both married and single parents to adopt, and the process typically takes less than two years.

And the celebrity buzz? "What they have done is really raised the awareness," Stawitcke said. "Before Angelina adopted her daughter in Ethiopia, families weren't aware they could.

"It's also a country that, tragically, has more than its share of orphans. Ethiopia and its neighbors have been hard hit by the AIDS pandemic. According to United Nations estimates, 18 million African children will have been orphaned by AIDS by next year. And more generic diseases run rampant.

No safety net

Just weeks after Jolie brought her daughter home in 2005, a salmonella epidemic devastated Zahara's orphanage, killing three babies, including the little girl Wes and Kristin Stout of Redwood City were supposed to bring home a few days later. It was a church mission trip that first introduced the Stouts to Ethiopia, the ancient African empire of Cush whose history is woven through the Old Testament, and whose early hominid fossils — including "Lucy," discovered in 1974 — have given it the nickname "cradle of humanity" in every Anthropology 101 textbook.

"I really do have to say that God led us to that country," Kristin Stout said. "We had fallen love with the people and the culture. We knew kids in Ethiopia had no safety net. There are orphanages, but there are thousands of kids who wind up on the street."

Kristin Stout has made the 17-hour journey to Ethiopia's capital, Addis Ababa, and its outlying towns four times — twice to pick up her newly adopted children, daughter Kylia, adopted three months after that heartbreaking phone call, and baby Solomon, who came home in February.

"We brought Kylia with us, which was great," Stout said. "It was like the three of us welcoming a new member of the family. It was fun to look at everything through Kylia's eyes. She enjoyed that everyone, she said, was 'brown like her.' "These days Kylia attends preschool in Redwood City, and dotes on her new baby brother. And Kristin Stout does orientation sessions for other families at Bay Area Adoption Services. "A lot of people want to help," Stout said, "but it really needs to be about adding a child to your family — not to do something noble. Not to 'save a child.'

Intriguing requirement

Erik Blome agrees, saying at its heart, adoption is about loving a child and building a family."We would have just as happily adopted from China or Korea or Chicago," he adds. At the time the Blomes began thinking about a second child, a sibling for their older, biological son Max, only a handful of agencies handled African adoptions. Today, there are dozens, including Bay Area Adoption Services and Palo Alto's African Cradle.

But the Blomes' agency, based in Washington state, had an intriguing requirement. The Blomes made a lasting commitment to give back to the culture that had given them the greatest treasure, Noah — a baby so tiny that even at seven months he looked half his age. Every year since the adoption, Erik Blome has returned with crates of art supplies to run art workshops at eight orphanages, youth centers and schools in Ethiopia.

This spring, he'll be bringing his sons, Noah and 10-year-old Max, as well.The Blomes say they are forever indebted to the Sudanese and Maltese nuns who had rescued their son, nursed him back to health and cared so deeply about his happiness with his future family that they laminated Noah's new family's photos, strung them on a key chain and clipped the chain to the side of the crib.

"Every day, the Sudanese nun would point and say, 'Mommy! Daddy!' " Erik Blome discovered later. "For three months, they trained him to know our faces."Erik and son Max were waiting at the arrivals gate when Charlotte flew home with Noah, their newly adopted baby."Noah immediately said, 'Dada,' pointing at me," Blome said. "And I'm like, whoa, how did he know that? Then he said, 'Max.' He just felt like, 'This is my family from the first day.'"

Reach Jackie Burrell at jburrell@bayareanewsgroup.com.

International Adoptions
by the Numbers 2008

Total: 17,438, including 2,223 from four African countries -- Ethiopia (1,725), Liberia (249), Nigeria (148) and Ghana (101).2004 Total: 22,884, including 446 from three African countries -- Ethiopia (289), Liberia (86) and Nigeria (71). Source: U.S. State Department

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

2009-03-19T11:23:00.002-05:00

A nun gives birth to conjoined twins in a mission
hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. The mother dies in childbirth and the father, a British surgeon named Thomas Stone, disappears. It is this birth that sets in motion the action of Cutting for Stone, Abraham Verghese's first novel.

To read more, or listen to a reading by the author. Click here.

Fall Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

2009-03-13T09:57:00.005-05:00

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.

Class 1 - How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays
Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

Class 2 - The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

Class 3 - Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?
Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 4 - Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

Class 5 - Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning At 7:00 PM

Class 6 - Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

Class 7 - Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum.
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

Class 8 - Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 9 - Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

Class 10- Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations. 4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

Class 11 - Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing.
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM , location to be determined

Class 12 - How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM

Class 13- How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

Class 14 - The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration. Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

Are we Done?

2009-03-05T13:30:00.002-05:00

Yes. Our family is complete.

I believe I told Ian this (tho it is a little blurry) as we drove home from the airport after I landed home with Ebba - you know, the Trip from Hell? I was not terribly rational then (too tired), but the decision has remained firm, and I think we are all content with it. After all, we are on the older side of parenting (I'm 44 and Ian's 51).

I am very much enjoying the purge that is accompanying Ebba growing out of things. As Mei Le grew out of clothes, I was hesitant to pass them on (feeling unsure about whether we would adopt only one child). But now I am purging with a vengeance. I have about 6 plastic tubs full of clothes for Ebba to grow into ... and with 5 yrs btw them, I may always have a few on hand. However, I suspect Ebba may catch up by a size or two as the years go by. Plus, as they reach tween- and teen-dom, they may become less receptive to "previously-owned" clothing (the staple of our current wardrobes - me included!).

Gratuitous Cute Kid Pics

2009-03-04T23:06:00.003-05:00

Bald Darby

2009-03-04T23:03:00.001-05:00

Well - the hectic-ness of the past few months took its toll on my grooming time & energy - resulting in one matted Setter. So last week I dug out my clippers and took it all off! It's a bit of a hack job - but after a bath (waiting for a warmer day), I will try to smooth it out a bit. Should grow in nicely for spring.

I think she feels better ....

More Sisters ...

2009-03-04T22:59:00.001-05:00

A Quiet Saturday Morning ...

2009-03-04T22:51:00.002-05:00

... yeah, right.

Ebba's First "Boo-Boo"

2009-03-04T22:49:00.002-05:00

Ebba scraped the side of her pinky finger a couple of weeks ago - and so earned her first bandaid. She was intrigued - and it stayed on for all of an hour or so.

Barbie Boom

2009-03-04T22:42:00.004-05:00

Family friend Joy (an amazing seamstress) told me a few weeks ago that she was going to make Mei Le some doll clothes for her birthday. Well, I think Joy had Way Too Much Fun ... she created a Whole Wardrobe of fantastic fashions, including pjs, sleeping bags, outerwear, and accessories. Mei Le was thrilled. All the girls had an impromptu slumber party (yes, Ebba's sleeping bag is a pillowcase!)

Thanks, Joy!

More Sisters ...

2009-03-04T22:38:00.001-05:00

Mei Le turned Six

2009-03-04T22:30:00.002-05:00

Hard to believe - but Mei Le is now 6 years old. Her birthday was Feb. 19, but she had her party on the 14th - a mixed party (boys and girls), if you can believe it. A bit of a challenge for me, as I had kinda figured out the Little Girl Party thing: crafts (usually beading), food, pinata, cake, gifts, princess dress-up. Throw in a couple of boys, tho, and a few of those activities drop off the Top- Five List. So, we did a craft (decorated a wooden letter for each of their names), ate, pinata (with little dinosaurs, bugs, gender-neutral stickers, plus candy - including other than pink!), cake, gifts, dancing (!), and playtime (dress-up for girls, building blocks for boys - it just happens that way!). Everyone had fun.

I'm getting better at this Hair Thing ...

2009-03-04T22:17:00.006-05:00

Have now evolved to proper parting before twisting. And, since these pics, have learned to put in a few braid "stitches" at the beginning of each twist to make the base tighter - so hopefully the twists will last longer. Some moms are getting 3-4 WEEKS out of their daughters' twists - I am lucky to get 3-4 DAYS before they are super-fuzzy.

Hopefully the new technique will pay off ('cuz it takes a little longer to put these twists in).

When time and/or patience (mine or Ebba's) is in short supply, little puffs (pigtails) are quicker. Have tried 4 and 8:

They will last maybe 3-4 days before needing re-doing. I think her hair is a little short "around the edges", and the short bits pull out and go wild. A friend is making me some satin crib sheets that will hopefully reduce friction (and therefore fuzziness).

Her hair is getting long enough now (4+ inches when pulled out straight) that leaving it free is not really a good choice (tho I usually do it for a day or two a week), bec it pulls so much to comb it through (even when I wet it down with water and de-tangler btw baths) that we end up in tears.

A Little Reminder of ETH

2009-03-04T22:11:00.003-05:00

Was folding laundry the other day, and noted a little loop of black thread on my socks ... lingering evidence of the wonderful person (whoever she was!) that did my laundry while we stayed at the Weygoss Guest House. Apparently they sewed loops of thread of diff colours into the clothes of diff people to allow the clothes to be sorted after washing. If I recall, Andrea had red thread. I can't help but picture some patient woman sewing these into all our little bits and pieces!

I subsequently noticed a thread loop on one of my bras. Here's a pic of the sock - I'll spare you my bra! I've decided to leave the loops there ... a tangible reminder of what was such a surreal experience!

Dust if you must ...

2009-02-17T14:46:00.002-05:00

Remember ...

A layer of dust protects the Wood beneath it. A house becomes a home when you can write 'I love you' on the furniture.

I used to spend at least 8 hours every weekend making sure things were just perfect - 'in case someone came over.' Finally I realized one day that no-one came over; they were all out living life and having fun!

NOW, when people visit, I don't have to explain the 'condition' of my home.
They are more interested in hearing about the things I've been doing while I was away living life and having fun.

If you haven't figured this out yet, please heed this advice. Life is short. Enjoy it!

Dust if you must ... But wouldn't it be better to paint a picture or write a letter, Bake cookies or a cake and lick the spoon or plant a seed,
Ponder the difference between want and need?!

Dust if you must, but there's not much time . . . .
With beer to drink, rivers to swim and mountains to climb,
Music to hear and books to read, friends to cherish
And life to lead.

Dust if you must, but the world's out there with the sun in your eyes,
The wind in your hair, a flutter of snow, a shower of rain.
This day will not come around, again.

Dust if you must, But bear in mind, old age will come and it's not kind. . .
And when you go - and go you must - you, yourself will make more dust!

~ Anon

10 Things about Ebba

2009-02-17T14:19:00.003-05:00

She LOVES being outside - even in the cold. She will bring us her snowsuit, and wails if we try to bring her back inside before she's ready. She loves sliding with her big sister, walking up and down (and up and down and ...) the driveway, and playing in the snow. Yesterday she took her first rolling tumble off the sled with Mei Le, and grazed just under her nose on the crystalline snow - but Ian said that she refused to come back in the house to get it seen to ... far from the heart, thankfully!
She LOVES footwear. She will put on whatever shoes, slippers or boots she can find by the door - even if they are my big winter shows (Ladies 10), my husband's poopy barn boots (size 13), or Mei Le's or her own winter boots. Then she clomps around the house in them. And don't even TRY to remove them!
She LOVES her bottles. At 14 months I guess we should be thinking about trying to wean her from them, but they seem a source of great comfort, as well as good bonding time. And a bottle seems to be what it takes to get her to sleep at night. So for now, they stay.
She LOVES the bath - and will even try to wash herself with the washcloth. She is very brave about having her hair washed, and doesn't seem to mind water running down her face.
She is a climber, and can get herself onto the kitchen chairs, the couch, the dining room chairs - and it's only a matter of time before she's using those to get to even higher ground.
She LOVES to dance - esp to my belly-dance music, and with Mei Le at her highland dancing class. And she's getting some cool moves!
She has recently mastered a high-pitched shriek which truly requires that you cover your ears. Thankfully she doesn't let loose too often with it. I think the inital appeal was our cringing, plus the rather echo-y qualities of our kitchen-dining area (cathedral ceilings). It doesn't seem to be necessarily and angry shriek - more of an excited self-expression kind of thing. Yay.
She has almost completely stopped biting - at least in anger. I have been on the receiving end of a couple of more "exploratory" type bites - which have been met with quite resounding bellows of disapproval (me) and a look of total shock on her part. Hopefully they are going the way of the dodo. She does, however, have a remarkably painful pinch!
She is adding new words pretty regularly. In addition to those prev reported, she now also uses with good regularity: uh-oh, whee, bat (for bath). Plus her comprehension seems impressive for only having been in an English env for a couple of months. She will reliably "Go and get your boots", for example.
She loves to shut doors: bathroom, fridge, pantry. I suspect this is a residual orphanage beh, as I saw the toddlers in the orphanage closing the cupboard doors there - I think they are trained to keep them closed, or simply pick it up from the staff.

Motherhood

2009-02-17T14:14:00.003-05:00

Just a Mom ... !

2009-02-16T12:20:00.003-05:00

A woman, renewing her driver's licence, was asked by the woman at Registry to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the woman at the Registry. 'Do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.' 'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation. 'Housewife' covers it,' said the recorder emphatically.

I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'City Registrar.'

'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.'

The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair and Looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, In bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest, 'just what you do in your field?'

Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn't), in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out); I'm working for my Masters (first the Lord and then the whole family), and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?), and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers And the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.

As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.

I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.'

~ Anon.

Check it out!

2009-02-16T00:45:00.000-05:00

http://bpe2.com/?p=86

Child Brides in Ethiopia

2009-01-29T11:15:00.001-05:00

The Girl Effect

2009-01-29T11:07:00.000-05:00

Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan

2009-01-27T22:02:00.001-05:00

What does "Ebba" mean?

2009-01-27T13:35:00.002-05:00

The girl's name Ebba \e(b)-ba\ is of Old Norse and Old English origin, and its meaning is "brave, strong boar". Also possibly (Old English) "fortress of riches". Edburga was the name of a seventh-century saint.

Ebba has 1 variant form: Ebbe.

For more information, see also the related name Eve.

Baby names that sound like Ebba are Abba and Eba.

Ebba is a very rare female first name and a very rare surname (source: 1990 U.S. Census). Displayed below is the baby name popularity trend for the girl's name Ebba. Compare Ebba with related baby names.

Wow.

2009-01-24T23:32:00.001-05:00

Dry your eyes, then click here for ways to help kids in Uganda.

Now Ebba sez:

2009-01-20T13:17:00.003-05:00

Da-bee (for Darby, our dog)
Ba-da (for bottle)
Hi
Bye-bye
Poo-ay (her attempt at "poo-ey!", which I say when she has a dirty diaper)

My Fathers' Daughter

2009-01-19T12:22:00.001-05:00

In 2004, Hannah Pool knew more about next season's lipstick colors than she did about Africa: a beauty editor for The Guardian newspaper, she juggled lattes and cocktails, handbags and hangouts through her twenties just like any other beautiful, independent Londoner. Her white, English adoptive relatives were beloved to her and were all the family she needed.

Contacted by relatives she didn't know, she decided to visit Eritrea, the war-torn African country of her birth, and answer for herself the daunting questions every adopted child asks.

What Hannah Pool learned on her journey forms a narrative of insight, wisdom, wit, and warmth beyond all expectations.

Available from Amharic Kids.

Playing for Change

2009-01-19T12:13:00.003-05:00

Visit: www.playingforchange.org

Unlikely Friends

2009-01-18T18:50:00.001-05:00

Sisters

2009-01-18T08:51:00.004-05:00

My First Real Stab at "Doing Hair"

2009-01-18T08:38:00.003-05:00

Altho I did once re-do Ebba's bobble-y pigtails (about 12 of them) while were in ETH, since then I have left her hair au naturel. In honour of our 1-mo anniv (tho mostly bec we were all up at some ungodly hr and had lots of time on our hands), yesterday after breakfast I decided to try putting in some simple twists.

It went fairly well - Mei Le handed me the beader & snaps, and Ebba mostly co-operated.

Here are the results! A bit loose & fuzzy, but I am pleased for the first try! And if it saves on the daily comb-thru hassle for a few days, I'm all for it!

One Month In - Corner Turned

2009-01-18T08:33:00.003-05:00

Saturday, Jan 17 was the 1-mo anniversary of my "taking possession" of Ebba, and her joining our family. We've come a long way since then, and I believe I can safely say we've turned the corner and are settling in well as a family.

Ebba seems much more comfortable with us, is attaching wonderfully, and the girls are well on their way to becoming sisters - with all the ups and downs that includes. Thankfully, I seem to be attaching well to Ebba, as well, and am feeling a lot less tired and panic-y. Each day seems more normal and manageable. There are still some moments of exhaustion and frustration - but I think that's normal!

Phew!

Ebba sez:

2009-01-14T14:44:00.001-05:00

Mommee
Daddee
Mei-me (for Mei Le)
Da (for dog)
Ffff (for woof)

I Need Africa ...

2009-01-14T14:40:00.000-05:00

Ethiopian Orphans

2009-01-14T14:37:00.001-05:00

The girl can eat!

2009-01-11T22:23:00.002-05:00

Finally - after a couple of weeks home, Ebba is developing an appetite for solid food. At the transition house in ETH, she reportedly ate several solid meals a day; but since I've had her, she has mostly preferred bottles (comfort, I suspect) to other offerings (cereal, yogurt, applesauce, eggs, anything). (Tho Ian did report that she LOVED Tim Hortons chili!)

For the past couple of days, however, she has finally started to consume some Real Food with gusto:

porridge
shredded chicken (no molars yet)
Cereal with a bit of ETH green pea stew in it for flavour (Thanks, Sandra & Mimi!)
rice with cheesy sauce on it
pureed fruit
scrambled eggs
cheese
well-steamed cauliflower florets (mushy)
graham crackers

Phew! Feels good to see your kid actually enjoy eating, instead of the frustrating dance of offer-spit-mop up. Am hopeful she will continue to welcome new tastes in the days to come.

Goodbye, Old Friend

2009-01-10T10:04:00.002-05:00

Yesterday, we said goodbye to Cree, our Jack-Russell/Corgi-X. She was 14 years old and had been suffering from arthritis for several years. Unf, she was sensitive to the best available anti-inflammatories and so our ability to manage her pain was limited.

In addition, yesterday am she showed blood in her urine, and tests suggested it was either a severe urinary tract infection or a tumour. In either case, we were again limited in our ability to safely control the inflammation and pain - leading me to the difficult decision to end her suffering.

Cree had been with me 12+ years - pre-dating Ian in my life by One Day - which I never let him forget.

We will miss you, old friend.

For all the Moms out there!

2009-01-09T23:40:00.001-05:00

Yes - we're still alive!

2009-01-07T10:41:00.002-05:00

And doing fairly well, actually. Tho Ebba has had a head cold that started Mon eve and was feverish and pukey most of yesterday and all last night. Not much sleep was had - at least by the adults in the house. Thanks to the gods for acetaminophen (sp?) suppositories!

I started back at work on Monday - the curse of the self-employed: no parental leave. At least I work from home. So, Ian and I are juggling, and on the days she's here, Mei Le's babysitter oversees the girls playing (tho we change and feed Ebba). It's not ideal, but will have to do until the end of the month when my work situation improves.

My daily nap program has fallen by the wayside this week. Sigh. But am managing to continue to feel a little more normal each day. As we settle into our new routine, I find myself feeling more capable and confident about the demands of this new parenting (two kids!). So, each day our family of four evolves and solidifies.

Still haven't had a minute to download my pics from the trip to ETH - hopefully soon!

Thanks so much to all of you for your encouraging comments & emails, for sharing your experiences, and for your offers of virtual casseroles! All much appreciated - and helpful!

Here she is!

2009-01-05T12:19:00.001-05:00

(Thanks to my mon who took & tweaked this photo!)

One week later ...

2009-01-01T10:52:00.002-05:00

So, we've been home just over a week now ... and I can honestly say this was one of the hardest weeks of my life - no exaggeration. Don't worry, Ebba is fine ... but the stress and fatigue of the trip took its toll on me, leaving me virtually crippled with exhaustion and panic.

It wasn't pretty. At my worst, I was convinced we had made a terrible mistake adopting again, and was trying to figure out how to undo it all. Too tired to be rational, I was not able to see Ebba as my daughter - rather as a disruptive force. I did not feel at all maternal towards her - and it scared me.

I met with our social worker to talk about the adaptation process, and my difficulties. We reviewed the lead-up to the trip (rushed!), the trip itself (draining), the travel home (hellish), and the settling in at home (normal but stressful) and came to the understanding that the rush, stress, and upheaval of it all had simply worn me to a frazzle. So, I was "prescribed" to rally the troops to help out, nap 2-3 hrs/d for a week or two (I like that part!), and let Ian hold down the fort. So, more or less, that's what we are doing.

Mei Le is really coming around. When we first got home, she was sick with a bad head cold - so extra needy - which made it very hard on me to balance competing demands. However, she is now healthy, and despite the occasional grumble, is seemingly enjoying her new role as big sister.

I feel a lot better already, and Ebba and I are doing better, too. She is settling into our routine pretty well, considering, and seems quite at home here. Still not sleeping the nights as she did in Addis (sigh!), and when she wakes in the night, she will not tolerate being put back into the crib, so one of us sleeps on the extra bed in her room with her on/beside us. Can't do that forever, but for now it works.

I can't say I'm in love with her yet, but I get glimpses of it ... I am optimistic we will muddle through these early weeks/months, and be ok in the end.

Off to nap!

We're home ..

2008-12-28T09:33:00.002-05:00

Andrea's last two msgs pretty much sum up the ordeal of heading home ... I have never been so tired in my life.

Since our landing in Mtl on the 24th, we are struggling to establish the New Normal around here ... not easy, I admit. Ebba is doing pretty well, but I am feeling pretty overwhelmed with the jetlag, time change, new baby adjustment, and big sister adjustment.

As I keep saying, adoption is not for the faint of heart. Would welcome any thoughts on how to survive this transition with sanity intact ...

Haven't had a minute nor an ounce of extra energy to download pics yet - hopefully in the next few days.

I want to thank all of you who sent encouraging comments via this blog while we were in ETH. The slow dial-up connection prevented me from accessing other than a few while there, but I have since re- read them all, and really appreciate that people were interested in our journey.

More soon,

Allison

Baby Update Post Removed

2008-12-27T04:40:00.001-05:00

Folks - Just so you know (in case you were looking for it), I have removed the post containing updates about other people's babies - at the agency's request. I guess I had unknowingly crossed a line of privacy for the as-yet unadopted children.

Apologies all 'round.

Andrea's POV - Home at Last

2008-12-27T04:36:00.002-05:00

And I am BAGGED, despite having at least twice the amount of sleep Allison had last nite, as Ebba has conveniently remained on Addis time, which is 8 h earlier than here. Which means she slept on the plane from Heathrow to Montreal, then NAPPED for 3 h upon return to the homestead (which was sometime after, what, 8 pm local time?). Allison, I think, will have had a brutal first Christmas Day with Ebba...

The flight home was....well....interesting. No bulkhead seats for the 12 mo and her travelling companions, no siree Bob. That would go to the 8 mo and her travelling companions, tho someone please explain to me why a non-walking infant needs more space than a toddler that strongly resents being restrained.

The flight from Addis to Heathrow was via Damascus, where we went from being 2 adults plus one toddler (plus all the required paraphenalia required to appease said toddler and, to a lesser extent, the adults) squashed into a row with 3 seats to the same squashed into a row with 3 seats plus another adult, as PASSENGERS were picked up in Damascus, and we went from being a non-full airplane to being a full one.

OH, that leg of the journey was not pleasant - Ebba did NOT want to be confined, and proceeded to kick the seat back of the man in front of her, throw all manner of things into the aisle, and throw regular tantrums. With the stress of travel on top of the stress of everything else, she also refused everything but bottles, which was tricky, as if you gave her a fullish bottle (180 mL) at intervals strategically designed to keep her from screaming, she'd overflow all over herself, Allison, and whatever Allison happened to be sitting on (having now scrubbed dried baby milk formula vomit out of fabrics, I can tell you the stuff is like glue, and stinks to boot).

We then rejigged the strategic plan to include bottles pretty much on the hour, with half the amount of milk. No more spewage, and it at least appeased Ebba for short periods of time (tho removing the emptied half-filled bottle resulted in outrage at not having the "I'm so full, I need to vomit all over Mommy" feeling in her tummy, which wasn't very pleasant). Allison spent most of that leg of the journey standing in the aisle, trying to keep Ebba from driving the entire plane crazy. I became a master at mixing up a bottle of formula (OK, milk powder) in record time.

The changeover in Heathrow went smoothly, and with no wait, we changed terminals, went thru security again, and proceeded directly to the gate. This plane was bigger, with 2-4-2 across (and at the back, 2-3-2). This time, we were slated for 2 seats on the right side of the plane - having had a less than pleasant experience sharing 2 seats with 2 adults + Ebba and all her stuff, Allison made a plea to one of the flight attendants as we boarded, that if 3 seats were possible, we'd be eternally grateful. Well, bless their little French Canadian hearts, they pulled it off, and a couple with an adjacent empty seat agreed to switch seats with us.

It was AWESOME - Allison and I sat on the aisles, we had oodles of space, some kid was sitting in front of Ebba (kids tend to mind less that their seat back is being swatted and kicked and climbed and used as a propulsion mechanism), we had seat back on-demand video screens, and after some initial histrionics (most likely caused by tired + teething + travel + restraint), Ebba SLEPT. We ate an undisturbed dinner, watched movies (finally saw and heard Wall-E, the Pixar film, which had been running on the previous leg of the journey, but there was too much Ebba stuff to actually WATCH it except in pieces), and rested (no sleep, tho, for me, and I doubt for Allison, either).

Upon arrival, Customs and Immigration were a breeze, luggage took a little longer, and then Allison got pulled over for a spot check. But, finally, we rolled out of the baggage claim area, and Ebba met the rest of the family. Honestly, someone should have taken pix - Ian was in tears, he was so overwhelmed by meeting Ebba. As for Ebba, back to the deer in the headlights look for a while, tho she seemed back to normal by 5 am today.

Ian's sister and brother-in-law both brought me from the Montreal airport last nite, and picked me up this morning to deliver me back there, for my flight home this morning. They were wonderful - they brought me a coffee, a card, and a gift (tho I left the gift of local artisanal cheese with them, for I know the cheese is VERY good, and it would have been a shame to have the USDA throw it out when I passed thru customs).

The day (as viewed from the MTL airport) dawned clear and bright, I managed to get a cup of coffee and a raspberry scone from the Second Cup in the airport, and the flight left almost on time - last minute snow meant a delay for de-icing. Arrived in Philly in plenty of time to get lunch (a real actual salad, which wasn't half bad tho some of the veg had been previously frozen, and I had to pick out all the onions and black olives, and a non-dairy smoothie - vitamins! and fibre! real food!), and board the plane to GSO, which also left and arrived on time.

So, on this Christmas Day, I got to see an old friend, had smooth sailing home, got home in time to pick up my dog (who is a STAR at daycare/overnite camp, apparently), and even had snow. Despite being dog tired, does it get any better than this?

And now, I think I have drawn out the day long enuf to enable a relatively smooth transition to local time. It is 8:45 pm here in GSO, so, what...plus 8 h...4:45 am in Addis. Yup, time for bed.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, all.

A

Andrea's POV - Tuesday Dec 23 (last day) in Addis

2008-12-27T04:30:00.002-05:00

Whew.

It's 2:20 pm (or 8ish am, Ethiopian time, long story) on the LAST day before we travel home. After a brief excursion this morning around 11, we are back, Ebba is sleeping (thank God), we are packing, and preparing to leave for the airport at 3:35 am tomorrow (ugh). It's been a LONG week, to say the least, after a whirlwind 5 days before that, and I think we will all be grateful to be in our own homes, withour own stuff and food and routines, and our families around us.

After a particularly dramatic day yesterday (from Ebba's perspective), Allison opted out of the cultural evening, - it didn't start til 7:30,and once Ebba passed out just as she finished her dinner around 6:30, there was no way on God's green earth either of us were going to risk waking her by dragging her out of her crib, strapping her into the Ergo, and schlepping her off to watch us eat Ethiopian food and listento very nice (but loud for sleeping young ears) Ethiopian music (tho if she wasn't screaming her head off, she might have enjoyed the dancing). It was very interesting. The tables are very small and circular, with smaller regular wooden tables to supplement them.

We started the evening with a beverage, and most of us wanted to try tej, a wine made from honey, water, and hops. It came in flasks (think chemistry sets, and the round bottomed flasks, not the triangular bottomed Eherlenmyer [sp?} flasks). I asked if there were glasses coming, and I was told, no, you drink out of the flask. Solomon gave us a demonstration of how to told it, and we all gave it a try (and I don't think anyonespilled, tho my fingers did end up kind of sticky). It has a veryinteresting odour and flavour - I can't quite describe the initial flavour, but it has a very nutty aftertaste (so much so that I asked exactly WHAT the ingredients were). I think I managed to drink about 1" of the flask contents before I decided I did not like the first taste at all.

Then, a man came with what looked like a silver teapot (a large one) and a silver basin with a perforated silver screen on top - this was to wash our hands prior to eating. At this point, they transferred the beverages off the round tables to the smaller rectangular ones, and brought out dinner - large round platters (that JUST fit into thetable tops) with giant injera lining them, and baskets of rolls oflarge sliced injera [injera is the bread they make which is used inplace of utensils - it is flat, spongy and kind of sour] to eat with. Then they brought out charcoal "braziers" (for lack of a better word) with tibs (cubes of cooked meat), a bowl of cooked ground meat (which apparently is usually uncooked, but they cooked it for us faranji), a bowl of some kind of bean/chick pea/lentil paste, some spicy chicken stew, some tangy cheese (sort of like a crem cheese consistency) and a meat with spinach dish. These were all placed in spoonfuls on the giant injera - the spicy chicken stew in the centre, with "spokes" ofeverything else around the edges.And then, we ate. You tear off some injera from a roll and, using your right hand only, grab/scoop/dab up various combinations of the various stuff. I avoided the poorly defined paste, but the rest of it was very good (tho apart from the chicken, I have no idea what species the other ingredients came from).

As there were no other vegetables available, I ate rather a lot of the spinach. Solomon (our contact for the adoption agency) went 'round feeding us mouthfulls of injera and everything else. After stuffing ourselves, we relaxed and listened to the Ethiopian music that was being played, with intermittent singing, and enjoyed the dancing. Solomon tells me the music/songs/dancing were primarily Amharic, but also from other local ethnicities (sp?), like the Oromo. The dancing is very different - some very fast, short, choppy movements.

And, once the babies started to become restive, a few of us had coffee (espresso-like, very strong, and in tiny cups with sugar), and a smallbrazier with chunks of incense was brought. It was nice.

Ah, Ebba is awake, and she and Allison have joined me in the "business centre" here in the lobby. We should settle our bill, and get back to organizing for departure. Assuming we have no delays, and all runs well, we should be back at Allison's tomorrow evening, and I should be home a day later.

Once I've recovered from the trip/flight/timechange, I'll post the pix to Picasa (a Google feature), and send you all an invitation to view. Until then, I wish you all the very best of the holidays.

A

Always in my heart ...

Open Adoptoin - From the Birth Mother's Perspective

How to Tell People They Sound Racist

Cat Adopts Baby Possums

World's Longest Locs!

Very Cool Hair!

Very Cute ETH-themed Bracelets

Beyonce in ETH

I Love my Hair!

Korean Adoptee Seeks Birth Mother

My Girls - May 2010

Ebba's Second Birthday

Xmas Morning 2009

Catching Up - Pre-Xmas 2009

Winner - 2009 Ukraine's Got Talent - Incredible

Notebook Babies Animations - Diversity

The Lady and the Chocolate

Adoption PSA

Tyra Banks Segment on "Good Hair"

My Sister's New Art Blog

Children's Heaven

Children's Heaven - Addis Ababa

Excerpt from the film "Adopted"

The Whole Famn Damily

All FOUR Sisters!

At the Fair (August 2009)

Summer Pics - "White is Nice"

Family

Lucky spin built 'Little Ethiopia'

Playlist

Waving Flag - K'Naan

Video from Families of Imagine Adoption

Good Hair - The Movie

The Three Bears - the true story!

I *love* Pearls Before Swine ...

More Space Gym Fun ...

Fun at the Space Gym

Canada Day Water Fun

Mother & Child Reunion - Ziggy Marley

Parenting - Ever Had Days Like This???

Finally - an AA Disney Princess!!

Some Short Video Clips - Dancing Queens

Photo Catch-up

Six Months Home - Can you believe it?

To realize ...

The Tired Dog

Words for Women to Live By

Cool Pro-Adoption Ad

Before I was a Mom ...

Random Pics

Health Update

Ebba Sings!

Meet the Imagination Movers

More Sister Pics

Pearls of Wisdom

More adoptions coming from 'cradle of humanity"

Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese

Fall Classes for Men at THE ADULT LEARNING CENTER

Are we Done?

Gratuitous Cute Kid Pics

Bald Darby

More Sisters ...

A Quiet Saturday Morning ...

Ebba's First "Boo-Boo"

Barbie Boom

More Sisters ...

Mei Le turned Six

I'm getting better at this Hair Thing ...

A Little Reminder of ETH

Dust if you must ...

10 Things about Ebba

Motherhood

Just a Mom ... !

Check it out!

Child Brides in Ethiopia

The Girl Effect

Transcending: Words on Women and Strength by Kelly Corrigan

What does "Ebba" mean?

Wow.

Now Ebba sez:

I love Pearls Before Swine ...